Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
