PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
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I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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