The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
vagina is talking i cant
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
