Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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