I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He? As in you personified your dick?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
