I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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