Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
