He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
