we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
