love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
