I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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