Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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