This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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