my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
