Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
