She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
