toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
