Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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