i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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