Four minutes until I can fart!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
