I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I can't turn off my feet"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
