what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
