Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize