wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
