fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
