we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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