I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
