You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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