Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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