she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
