Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
