you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
