Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
