if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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