I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
