i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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