Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
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I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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