So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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