ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
