That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
