Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize