I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
please don't ironically join a cult
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