I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
