problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
