He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
