I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize