he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
