so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
