the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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