I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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