im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
