so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
