Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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