sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
