Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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