so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
