It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
