Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
