Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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