Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize