There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize