Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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