Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
